I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize