Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
