Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We got so high we made milksteak
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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