i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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