But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize