it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
