Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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