yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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