I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize