We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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