Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
