I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
