I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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