Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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