Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
