I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
