I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
