ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
