Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
