don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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