You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
