are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
