I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
