She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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