So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I've blown a few things in my day
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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