you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
