you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
