Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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