let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
