I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
FUCK WHALES
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
