What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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