How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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