Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
