We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
