Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
