no you cant smoke seaweed
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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