Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
