I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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