So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
