i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize