someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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