He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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