she was so not down for the gang bang
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
