ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
