Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
