Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
