Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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