there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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