I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
