I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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