she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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