I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
