You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
