you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
