I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
lets start a swedish sibling band together
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
