first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
